Turning Pain Into Laughter Since 2011
During a congressional meeting on July 27th, Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuckin thought he could dance around a question posed by California representative Maxine Waters. Oh but Waters was having NONE of it! She quickly regained her allotted time lost by exclaiming, “Reclaiming my time! Reclaiming my time!” Now of course the internet and Maxine Waters’ supporters took this and ran with it…drug it through the mud until it was so dirty that no one wanted to use it anymore. Meaning that people will abuse a phrase so much that you quickly get tired of hearing it. Within a few days Waters’ face and her now famous catch phrase was on posters, t-shirts, underwear, and thousands of memes.
I quickly became tired of seeing all the posts, tweets, and facebook statuses about ‘Reclaiming My Time’. I’ll admit, I was a little salty with Maxine for getting everyone fired up to reclaim their time, but then I thought, “I need to reclaim my time for several current situations in my life.” So in planning how I was going to reclaim my time, I figured several of my readers would love to start reclaiming their time as well. So I came up with 5 easy steps for myself in my process of reclaiming my time.
Stop Entertaining Negativity:
I had a friend that was constantly sending me screenshots of random people from her social media pages. She always had something negative to say about everyone instead trying to find the good in people. So what I started doing is NOT responding to those texts. I would respond to all other texts, as long they were not negative. She finally got the message. I reclaimed my time from all negativity. There are so many negative things I could focus on all day everyday, but that’s not going to find me get to where I want to go in life. If you have time to focus on the negative, you have time to focus on making positive changes in your life. This is time that can be dedicated to starting your own business, building your brand…doing research to educate yourself so you can make a positive impact on your community. Something other than talking down on other people. It is ok to tell people that you will not entertain any negativity. That could be a wakeup call for them, as well, to stop focusing on the negative.
Stop Talking About It:
I recently dealt with a situation that was literally draining emotionally, mentally, and physically (in that order). I felt the need to talk about it to ALL of my friends. This situation consumed me because it is something that I never really dealt with before and I am still not sure how to handle it. I want the outcome to eventually be good, but I am scared shitless that it won’t and I can lose a really good friend that I care about. I want to move past it, but how is that going to happen if I talk about it every day? It won’t! I have started writing more and talking less. I have also decided to deal with the issue head on instead of asking everyone else’s opinion about it. As long as I have unanswered questions, I will always be confused. I will continue to feel the need to hash it out with my friends, instead of the one friend that I should be talking to. Moreover, I’m sure my friends are tired of hearing me talk about the same thing over and over again.
Do Not Get Involved:
I have a friend that is trying to sort out a situation with a couple of people that we both were once friends with. I am very protective of my friends and family and will often try to fight their battles for them. I don’t want anyone to feel comfortable enough to come to me saying anything negative about those that I call friends and family. So I was recently talking to another friend about this situation and telling him how I wanted to reach out to these former friends and have a conversation with them. He quickly said, “DON’T DO IT! Let them sort that out and stay in your lane. Not your circus, not your monkeys.” He’s right. I don’t deal well with drama and always try to steer clear of it. Getting involved in that situation would just be inviting negativity in and the disturbance of my peace. This, in turn, affects everything else in my life…throwing everything off balance and distracting me from my goals. So make the choice to not get involved. If you are already caught up, reclaim your time and get out of the sunken place NOW!
Let It Go:
I am the liberated Black woman formerly known as Bitter Betty. I was once the queen of holding onto to things that hurt or angered me. It would only take one time for a person to hurt, anger, or disrespect me and I was DONE! The fork had been stuck in me and I was ready to be eaten, I was so done. (Wait…sorry I have a dirty mind) The point is I did not know how to let go of things and they were affecting my attitude and the way I approached people, places and things. I was robbing myself of having meaning relationships and friendships and my attitude was horrible. Then life taught me that everyone, including myself, makes mistakes. I had to learn how to forgive and forget, because I wanted to be forgiven for my mistakes and mishaps. Holding on to negative things makes you unhappy and robs you of your joy. And I need all of the joy and happiness that I can get. Life is too short and I don’t want to miss out on an ounce of joy and happiness. So I reclaimed my joy and happiness by letting go of hurt and anger.
Take A Chance:
A closed mouth don’t get fed. If you want something, ask for it or go after it. How many times have you said, “I wish I had…” or “I wonder what would happen if…”? We often hold back on pursuing the things we want because we are comfortable, afraid of failing, or don’t want to be rejected. Rejection and failure is a part of life and a part of growth. It can break you, if you let it, or it can make you stronger and make you push even harder to reach your goals. I’ve been saying that I want to relocate for years now. I haven’t actively pursued it until now. I feel like I’ve wasted so much time being comfortable in my little small town bubble. My friends are (were) here, my mom is here and I’m familiar with my surroundings. I’m living in ‘The Comfort Zone’. But I am so unhappy. I feel like a raft inside of a small box. I want to inflate to my full size, but this box is constricting me. So now, I’m taking a chance and taking steps to relocate. Please stop waiting and start doing. When I think about at all the time I wasted staying in my hometown, working jobs that definitely don’t pay enough, and putting my dreams on hold, I want to cry. But I won’t because I’m a G! But I could have been in a city that appreciates my talents more, surrounded by like-minded individuals that are pursuing the same things I am. I will always love my hometown, the city that raised me. However, I outgrew it a long time ago and now I am taking a chance and starting new in a new city and state and going into the career that I actually went to school for. Do not put your happiness on hold any longer by giving into the fear of “what if”. What if you do and everything turns out great?
These 5 steps can easily be summed up in 3 words: STOP ENTERTAINING NEGATIVITY!
Until next time,